Stop all the crooks, get on your phone,
Vote Margaret Hodge in Barking, vote out Peter Bone.
Silence the liars and the Eton plum,
Bring out the pencils, let the voters come.
Let the papers print on their bloody mastheads
The desperate cry: austerity is dead.
Hold up placards for the public droves
Put up signs in street-facing alcoves.
Vote North, vote South, vote East and West,
Vote for schools and the NHS.
Deconstruct the elitist throng:
They thought Universal Credit was for ever: they were wrong.
This government is not wanted now: vote out every one.
Pack up The Mail and dismantle The Sun.
Vote anyone but Tory if you would,
For none of them have ever done us any good.
With apologies to W. H. Auden.